I can only control what I consume and put into my body. I cannot control what others do to themselves. Though I wish I can, I wish desperately that I can help them see how much brighter and more vibrant life can be when you're not dampening your thoughts and feelings. They're not color blind. They've just fell so deep into a darkness, they can no longer see, and a lot of time they need help getting out. At least that's what I felt when I was addicted to numbing my reality.
It took a major turn of events to help me realize that drugs were the problem, and from that moment I learned to hate them. I hated what they did to me, and I hated what they did to the people around me. Especially those who are completely dependent on them, who turned from Mr. Hyde, to Dr. Jekyll the moment they've had their fix. It was a very hostile environment to live in and I realized drugs were a way to cope. “If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.” Was my mentality at that time, it was a very sad existence.
When I decided I no longer want to live in that environment where I was subject to drugs and the split personalities of others, I got out, then fell into deep depression. Until I discovered that I had plenty of talent in a lot of things, and focused my time on that.
Let me say this, some people are completely fine doing what they do, they do it in their own time, and on their own terms and I won't argue. But is it their addiction speaking? Who knows . . .
Personally, I've never had an addiction or dependency on alcohol. But there was a very sad and lonely time in my life where drinking was the highlight of my day. That was time where I filled that void with socializing with people who didn't really care about me, nor did I really care about them. It was time where I prioritized things that didn't really matter. It was all just false happiness. I regret wasting my time then, but I wouldn't know what I know now without that experience. I have been living alcohol free for 15 months.
I don't plan on ever doing drugs or alcohol again, that's a personal sacrifice I've made for myself and my son. And it has been the most rewarding decision I've made in my life. Though I still struggle with the affects of drug and alcohol use from the people around me, I must say I love my life without addiction.