The days are colliding, and November has finally settled into a routine. I'm doing my best to make every day different for Taylor by meeting new people and establishing new relationships. It's a big adjustment for him as the world is still such a new and scary place, but it's a comfort to him knowing that his mother is always no less than a few feet away. I realize that these new relationships are essential for me too. My goal is to build a strong support system, rebuild those lost relationships and belong somewhere where people care about me, not for their own personal gain, but because they genuinely care about me. It means a lot to me when I know I have people I can always depend on for emotional support. And I've come across just a few I can truly trust at certain times in my life when I needed them the most. Usually those relationships fade as we get caught up in our own lives, and that's usually the time I reach out to them. For so long I've carried a lot of hurt, betrayal and abandonment. I wasn't keen on forgiving. But it's time to put those feelings behind me and not let it affect my life today. Because someday, I may never have that chance again.
I know my readers only ever see one side of me. And it's the the happy and positive side. It's because I've always had a hard time opening up with people and allowing them into my personal life because often the trust is broken. There's a lot to me, that many people do not often see, I deal with that part of myself alone. It's hard, but I'm figuring it out. Right now I'm questioning whether or not I actually want to continue with this post, but I suppose I have something to prove. Here's an excerpt from a journal entry of mine . . .
I know my readers only ever see one side of me. And it's the the happy and positive side. It's because I've always had a hard time opening up with people and allowing them into my personal life because often the trust is broken. There's a lot to me, that many people do not often see, I deal with that part of myself alone. It's hard, but I'm figuring it out. Right now I'm questioning whether or not I actually want to continue with this post, but I suppose I have something to prove. Here's an excerpt from a journal entry of mine . . .
I feel strongly to my way of thinking. It's who I am, it makes me proud of the person I have become. Everything I am is the result of my Dad. The most loving, happiest and amazing person I knew. Ask anyone, and they would tell you no different. I believe that if he were still here, his influence would have continued to strengthen me as a person. I would feel no fear, or let anyone think they have any control over me. In some ways that's present today, but I believe he would have raised a truly strong woman.
I feel for those who have been in such a situation, where you're afraid of doing something because of the fear of disappointing and the fear of guilt. I feel for those who live in fear altogether. I've been there. And the only time it stops is when you make that decision and stand up for yourself and live the way you want to. You must remember that everyone is human, no one is better than the next person, no one has power over the way you live. To put that in place is to know your rights.
- You have the right to be treated with respect.
- You have the right to express your feelings, opinions and wants.
- You have the right to set your own priorities.
- You have the right to say “no” without feeling guilty.
- You have the right to have opinions different than others.
- You have the right to take care of and protect yourself from being threatened physically, mentally or emotionally.
- You have the right to create your own happy and healthy life.
With that in mind, fear of living your life ceases to exist.
I believe these rights can only work if you think of them the other way around because respect goes both ways. You must treat people with respect. You must understand that people will express their feelings, opinions and wants and they will set their own priorities and often say "NO" and it is your job to respect that and not make them feel guilty. They will have opinions different than your own and it is your responsibility to accept that. They also have the right to protect themselves if they feel threatened physically, mentally or emotionally. They also have the right to live their own happy and healthy life.
Knowledge is power, right?
I hope that you feel empowered after reading this post. No one has to feel controlled under any circumstances nor does it have to be in the dark. Talk about it, speak to someone you trust. let them know how you're feeling and often times they'll will support you 100%.
This is the reason I am rebuilding those important relationships. I need those people to help guide me. I need those people who have my best interests at heart. I hope you're able to lead a life of freedom and forgiving . . .
Thanks for reading!
God·speed
ˌɡädˈspēd/
exclamationdated
exclamation: Godspeed
I believe these rights can only work if you think of them the other way around because respect goes both ways. You must treat people with respect. You must understand that people will express their feelings, opinions and wants and they will set their own priorities and often say "NO" and it is your job to respect that and not make them feel guilty. They will have opinions different than your own and it is your responsibility to accept that. They also have the right to protect themselves if they feel threatened physically, mentally or emotionally. They also have the right to live their own happy and healthy life.
Knowledge is power, right?
I hope that you feel empowered after reading this post. No one has to feel controlled under any circumstances nor does it have to be in the dark. Talk about it, speak to someone you trust. let them know how you're feeling and often times they'll will support you 100%.
This is the reason I am rebuilding those important relationships. I need those people to help guide me. I need those people who have my best interests at heart. I hope you're able to lead a life of freedom and forgiving . . .
Thanks for reading!
God·speed
ˌɡädˈspēd/
exclamationdated
exclamation: Godspeed
- an expression of good wishes to a person starting a journey.